Turning To Family And Friends After Having A Smoking Relapse

Just as athletes rely on their team members and encourage each other, don't forget that you have a team, too. Now that the going's gotten rough with your decision to quit smoking, it's time to call on your team - the family and friends who will cooperate and encourage you in your "big game."

At this point, you probably have a better idea of who is really helpful in guiding you around temptations, or just understanding what you're going through. Follow these leads. Maybe you'll arrange a meeting for lunch or phone calls or just a calm walk together after dinner. Whatever style works for you, think about getting more of their company and encouragement!

If you have one key family member or friend whom you've looked to for help, review how that's gone. Because you've slipped up in your nonsmoking plan, you may have hesitated to keep in touch with him. Were you afraid of discouraging him? Or maybe you've been too embarrassed to call and admit your problems. If he cares about you, he'll understand and want to be helpful. But chances are good that your key person will be a lot more understanding than you may fear.

Make that call! If your friends or family members are ex-smokers, they will know how good it feels and will be happy to give you all the encouragement they can. And if they had trouble quitting, too, they can make you feel understood. Maybe you can put your heads together and come up with a few new strategies that could help you.

Finally, think about your family situation. Under the best circumstances, your family members will be rooting for you all the way. But perhaps your spouse or your parents are smokers. They may resent your efforts, or feel guilty about not trying to quit with you. If this has been a problem in your family, it could be the reason you've had trouble staying quit. Studies show, for example, that those who fail to quit or who relapse are more likely to be married to a smoking spouse and/or to have many friends and family members who smoke.

Try to think of your quitting as separate from their smoking. It's their right to smoke and it's your right to quit. You can't make your spouse or family members quit smoking. So focus on cooperation and support from other family and friends who don't smoke. But of course you don't want to avoid the people you love.